hyenas, terrifying and excellently organized predators of the savannah
also surprisingly docile and like neck scritches and have a tail chasing compulsion
if you don’t think hyenas are great then you’re objectively wrong
Aaaahhh, I love hyenas. :D
Hyenas: Always getting a bad rap because lions are jerks. Lions actually steal from hyenas most of the time because hyenas are the better predators — but they’re also very skittish when faced with a giant pride of cats. Adorable babies!
Okay, lemme tell you about spotted hyenas, aka the BAMFiest BAMFs in the animal kingdom.
- Their societies are entirely female-dominated. Female hyenas are larger and stronger than males and have higher social status in clan hierarchy - even the lowest-ranking female in a hyena clan is higher up the social ladder than the highest-ranking male. They’re basically the Amazons of the animal world. The females even have false penis-like appendages (which are essentially large clitorises), which led the ancient Greeks to think that hyenas were hermaphrodites. Because fuck your narrow human perceptions of sex and gender roles, that’s why.
- They are considered the dominant predators of the African savannah, despite not being the largest or strongest, because they are the most successful hunters. Their hunting success rate is estimated to be about 70-80%, meaning that they catch about 70-80% of prey they pursue - a freakishly high statistic (to compare, the success rate of lions and wolves is about 20-30%). They also scavenge much less than lions do, as whowasntthere said, and are incredibly adaptable and opportunistic predators, meaning that they are also the most common and widespread of the large African carnivores. That’s not too bad for an animal typecast as a lazy scavenger.
- Their jaws are some of the strongest in the animal kingdom, stronger than those of lions, tigers, wolves or perhaps bears, and can crush elephant and giraffe bones; hyenas are also able to digest all bone matter. Don’t tell me that’s not metal as fuck.
- Despite looking like dogs, they are not part of the dog family and are actually more closely related to cats. Because fuck your logic. Nature does what it wants.
- They are incredibly intelligent. They are easily as intelligent as primates and some scientists claim that their intelligence may even rival that of the great apes, which would make them among the most intelligent animals in the world. Hyenas even outperform chimpanzees on some tests, which is pretty damn awesome, considering that chimpanzees are our closest relatives and all.
So yeah, basically hyenas are awesome and badass as well as truly fascinating animals and if you don’t have at least a bit of respect for them you’re wrong.
"You’re 6’4", 240-pound Marine, and you’re injured, and you need a Marine next to you to carry you back to safety, and the Marine next to you is a 5’4" woman who weighs 115 pounds,"
in before “well most women can’t do that” because NEWS FLASH most men can’t either, that’s why it’s a highly specialized career that requires a lot of devoted training
One of my former coworkers was a very slim girl only a tad taller than me, and she was training to be a fireman, and she could lift the biggest dude on my crew like this who was around 6’5 and super bulky.One time she picked him up and ran around the crew room with him for about 5 minutes before letting him down.
Even though I haven’t exercised in over a year—if you count DDR—and I’m incredibly petite (5’0”, 100 lbs), I can carry most guys. If they’re under 200 lbs, I can run with them on my back for 5 blocks, but I can walk for a mile. Once they’re about 250, I can only walk about a block or two before my spine feels like it’s about to break. If I were in a survival situation and their life depended on it, I could go on much further, until my legs gave out.
It’s why I hate the bullshit that women are inherently weak. Nah, man. Nah.
"One day in the subway, James saw a red cat with a wound to the leg that likely resulted from a fight with another cat. It was obvious that the cat needed help. James could not pass and took the cat to the vet. With a little medical treatment and prescription drugs, the cat quickly recovered. At that point, James found it impossible to say goodbye to Street Cat Bob. Bob followed James everywhere he went. As James played the guitar on the street and Bob sat nearby, revenues increased dramatically. People found it difficult to pass when they looked at the cute kitty. James went on to write a book describing their adventures in the street which was full of life – both dramatic and comedic. In the book, James says that he could not have imagined how meeting Bob would change his life. His friendship with the cat healed him from a life that had been very hard. Most likely, if Bob could speak, he would say the same thing.”